I have been absent from my blog for quite some time now and I do genuinely feel bad about it. Sadly this post is mostly me explaining why I haven’t been around, etc.
Firstly, the job as a travelling school photographer I had. I said I was going to make a post every week, like a diary, of my adventures with all of the places I went. This however never happened. I didn’t manage to see the season through and had to leave about half way through due to my health. It was one illness after the other (Sadly children do not care who they spread their germs to!) and with all of the antibiotics, it was making my body weaker and weaker. Without being able to have substantial resting breaks between some shifts, it got to the stage where I was an emotional, snotty mess. It wasn’t an easy decision for me to make and I do miss the job and my colleagues!
Secondly, since I left that job, and for my last few weeks with the company, I had started feeling down again. I felt exactly like I did before I went onto antidepressants and it wasn’t good. I hid this from everyone for about a month, including friends and family, and it started to get even worse just before my 21st birthday. Now I am back on my antidepressants on a higher dosage than before because of how bad it got. It also got to the stage where I felt VERY anxious in social situations, so much so I walked out of my birthday meal as we got there. I do still feel this and when I’m out in supermarkets or places with a large amount of people, I start digging my fingernails into my hand. I’m not sure why, but this seem to be my coping mechanism.
Lastly, I have kind of fallen out of love with everything I used to enjoy doing. Baking, photography, sewing and even blogging. However I am back, and this is my way of trying to fall back in love with it again! Also, what better season to do it in too.. Christmas!